Track 3 - Funeral Rites

“Just what has gotten into you, Liguang...?”

In the Lu family living room, my parents sat me down in front of them to lecture me.

My father didn’t seem particularly angry, however, and was more bewildered by the impulsive behavior of his usually calm eldest son.

My mother watched me intently, as if trying to see my true intentions.

It was my older sister who had stopped me from harming Renga Nishizono.

Xingbing had grabbed a giant vase from our father’s collection and swung it down, shattering it over my head.

“Run, Renga!” my sister yelled, and when I instinctively tried to chase after him, she stopped me with a shoulder throw.

Only then did my head begin to cool a little.

As for Renga Nishizono, he hadn’t actually been hurt very much.

There were handprints from where I had grabbed him, but he didn’t have any broken bones, and he didn’t seem particularly shaken either.

“Sorry for coming in without asking. I just thought it’d be okay since we’re best friends...”

Watching Renga apologize and go home, Xingbing felt sympathy for him.

“I was the one who showed him to your room in the first place. Don’t you feel sorry for him?”

From my family’s perspective, he was still my friend, even if we saw each other a lot less lately.

However, for me... He had trespassed into my territory.

Almost by instinct, I found myself thinking that I had to kill him.

“...I won’t ask what started the fight. You’re both at the age where you’re starting to become independent, after all.”

My mother, who had been quietly observing me, finally spoke.

“However, violence driven by emotion is unacceptable. This is the dignity of those with power.”

What my mother was saying was right.

But at the same time, I knew.

...Against Kiba, violence was the only way to protect anything.

When I averted my gaze, my mother took my face in both her hands and lifted it.

Her dignified gaze met mine.

“Do not be afraid to face things head-on, Liguang.”

—The moment you look away is when you begin to make mistakes.

My mother said this with conviction.

When I returned to my room, the oxygen capsule cage Linxing had carefully carried in was sitting in front of Shacha’s.

I let out a long breath and sat down in front of it.

Only then did the regret sink in.

I had caused such a scene right in front of Shacha’s eyes, and may have put him under even more stress.

The silent rabbit remained as still as always, but that was because it was a weak creature.

Prey animals like rabbits will endure pain until they’re on the verge of death, trying to hide their own suffering.

“...I’m sorry.”

I leaned my forehead against the cage and whispered to Shacha softly.

Shacha’s condition improved temporarily after using the oxygen capsule, but he soon began to weaken once more.

Before long, he could no longer take water, and his body shrank noticeably.

...I’ve seen countless like you die.

Being able to wither away from old age could even be called a blessing.

And yet, I wonder why? I can’t seem to dismiss the memories I’ve gained in this life as Liguang Lu as just common occurrences—like the day we brought Shacha home, or the sight of him happily hopping around.

On a quiet spring day, “that time” finally arrived.

I had stayed home from school for the past few days to stay with Shacha.

Linxing, who had stayed home from kindergarten on this day in particular, clung worriedly to his cage.

“Is Shacha sleeping?”

The rabbit’s eyes would open only to close again, and close only to open again, as if he was drifting between consciousness and unconsciousness.

The rest of our family was absent that day.

My older sister had to go on a school camping trip. She was so worried about Shacha that she refused to go until the very last moment, before finally leaving in tears.

My parents had to go to an important regularly scheduled family meeting that evening.

As the sun began to dip below the western horizon and night approached, I took Shacha, who had just woken up, out of his cage and put him into a cardboard box lined with towels.

“What’re you doing?” Linxing asked anxiously.

“Let’s go see him off in a place that smells of the earth and flowers,” I told her.

Hearing those words, Linxing’s eyes turned red and quickly started to brim with tears.

But instead of wailing loudly like usual, she merely followed me, silently shedding them.

I wanted to pick her up and carry her, but I couldn’t risk shaking the box.

As we stepped into the garden, the scent of grass, flowers, and the slightly damp earth drifted on the breeze through the dim light.

Shacha twitched his nose ever so slightly, as if he could smell the scent.

Linxing peeked inside the cardboard box.

Then she asked me, “...Is Linxing gonna die too someday?”

The Evening Star was shining in the western sky.

“That’s right. You’ll be just like Shacha.”

“And Onii-chan too?”

“......, Yeah.”

I spoke quietly about “Death”.

“Death is simply a part of nature’s cycle. It’s a short-lived phenomenon that all life passes through, and it isn’t something to be feared.”

It’s the same as the sun rising.

It’s the same as growing old or getting taller.

Death and life are fundamentally woven into the great flow of the universe.

Therefore, death isn’t something to be loathed.

Nor is it something to be sad over—

Soon after, Shacha’s body began to convulse in small spasms.

Linxing and I gently stroked his body.

Beneath the dry fur, his body had wasted away to nothing but skin and bone.

...This must be proof that you struggled your hardest against death, Shacha.

After some time, Shacha stopped moving.

The sky had darkened, and the stars had spread out above us.

“You’re not hurting anymore, right, Shacha?” Linxing whispered.

They may have been the ignorant words of a child, but...

“You’re all better now, aren’t you?”

For some reason, they seemed to strike upon the truth.

After Shacha’s life quietly faded away, the tension seemed to drain from Linxing, and she fell asleep in my arms.

I carried her back inside the house and laid her down in bed.

After exchanging a word with the babysitter, I went back out into the garden.

I gently lifted the cardboard box I had left on the grass.

Shacha was sleeping peacefully.

I decided to take the long way around the garden before going back in through the front entrance. I wanted Shacha to experience the outdoors for just a while longer.

That’s why it was a coincidence.

The person I ran into at the front entrance, about to ring the intercom, was “Renga Nishizono”.

The impostor looked embarrassed when he saw me.

In his hands, he held an oversized bouquet of roses.

“...You’ve been gone from school all week, right? Grandmother told me to come visit you...”

His subdued voice lacked its usual vigor.

I wanted to tell him to get lost, but I couldn’t bring myself to push him away immediately.

Because Shacha was sleeping in my arms.

Perhaps I didn’t want such foul words to reach his ears.

“...The rabbit,” the impostor muttered at that moment, eyes peering inside the cardboard box.

I couldn’t see clearly, but it looked as though his face suddenly fell.

“Linxing-chan said he wasn’t feeling well, but... I see, he’s already...”

He continued to say more, but his voice caught in his throat.

In an instant, tears welled up in his eyes, before overflowing like a broken dam.

“...It must’ve hurt so much, all this time. You did your best, didn’t you?”

Even though he shouldn’t have known anything about him, he spoke to Shacha as if he did.

“What’s wrong with him?” I thought to myself.

Using the back of his hand to wipe at the tears that refused to stop, he asked, “Can I...give these roses...to Shacha?”

His teary eyes glimmered under the glow of the porch light. It was only then that I finally got a good look at his face.

And that’s when I realized.

“Your eyes... They’re different.”

The words slipped out.

His eyes were heterochromatic, like Kiba’s.

Upon closer look, the shade of one of them was different.

For a moment, the impostor tilted his head as if confused by what I meant.

The movement made him look like a young child.

Then, as if shocked, he pulled at his bangs, trying to hide the different shaded eye.

—You don’t have to put up an act anymore. It’s alright.

It’s alright.

Because I understood. You’re nothing like the Renga Nishizono I knew.

...Regardless of what Kiba may be plotting.

I understood that you, yourself, don’t have the power to end a life.

“...Renga.”

Before I knew it, I had called him by that name.

Renga looked up at me nervously.

“We’re not...best friends.”

When I said that, he blinked in confusion.

“Not best friends? But...”

“You’ve got it wrong.”

“...Um, I thought 'best friends’ meant people who got along, but... are you saying it’s more like we’re rivals or something?”

Renga peered up at me like a puppy, searching my expression.

“I see, so that’s how it is...”

I stared at him blankly as he came to that conclusion all on his own.

Why did Kiba send a person like this to me?

“These roses... Can I put them in the box? I already took off all the thorns...”

As he said this, Renga’s hands were covered in tiny cuts, presumably from removing the thorns.

When I nodded, he started to lay the roses out all around Shacha.

A sweet scent drifted up to my nose.

“They’re mini roses, but I guess 77 of them won’t fit...” Renga muttered to himself, gazing intently at Shacha.

“He’s sleeping with such a peaceful expression. You must’ve taken really good care of him...”

A single tear escaped his eyes, unable to be held back. It reflected the porch light, shimmering like a star against his cheek.

“...I'm sorry,” I whispered.

...I’m sorry, you were a different person from Xiaoya all along.

The words must not have reached his ears.

He gave no reaction at all.

...Do not be afraid to face things head-on.

My mother’s voice echoed in the back of my mind.

Up until that day, the day I was reborn.

I had believed Xiaoya was my one and only best friend.

Even when he regained his memories before me. Even when he started distancing himself—

I believed it, from the bottom of my heart.

The wreckage of that faith still smolders inside me.

Deep down, I resented the fact that my best friend was replaced by a fool I didn’t know.

It was the childish sentiment of “Liguang Lu”.

But the person who now stood before me wasn’t Kiba.

He was a boy who shed tears for the dead and offered roses in tribute.

I supposed I had no choice but to face this “Renga Nishizono” head-on.

As the scents of earth, grass, and roses surrounded us…

That was what I thought.