Track 3 - Greed

I woke up earlier than usual that day because I had to start filming a local HAMA commercial early in the morning.

Yukikaze, who’d gotten up earlier and prepared breakfast, said, “You’re up early, Renga. Liguang has also been out from early morning to late at night recently. It seems he’s busy with work.”

—Now that I thought about it, I hadn’t seen Liguang around the dorm lately.

Settling on that thought, I quickly finished up my breakfast and checked myself in the mirror by the entrance.

While I fiddled with the sides of my hair, I suddenly wondered.

"......Kiba’s eyes, were they… a different color than mine?"

Which one was darker, and which one was lighter?

For some reason, my memory of that was hazy.

“You’re in the way.”

At that moment, I turned around to the sound of a low-pitched voice brimming with irritation.

Liguang was glaring at me as he brushed back his long hair.

“Can’t you just go around me?!” I instinctively replied, and was met with a click of the tongue.

“My shoes are behind where you’re standing. Move.”

“Then you should just say that from the start!”

For some reason I didn’t want to quietly step away.

“If you want me to step back, then you should ask properly. Say, ‘Renga-sama, please step back!’”

“That’s enough.”

I was taken aback by the genuine irritation in Liguang’s gaze, yet I still didn’t want to back down so easily.

But when I saw the dark circles under his eyes, how his usually shiny long hair was a bit duller than usual, how he was holding the uselessly…uselessly cool gloves he usually wore in one hand because he probably didn’t have enough time to put them on, I remembered what Yukikaze had said.

“...Are you super busy or something?”

“It has nothing to do with you,” he said with a sigh, but his voice lacked its usual vigor.

“You have bags under your eyes. Are you not sleeping well? Have you been going home? Linxing will be mad if she sees how your hair looks right now…”

Liguang muttered “fool” under his breath before saying, “There are small fires everywhere. It’s taking time to put them all out, but it should be done by today or tomorrow.” With that, he pushed my shoulder away and quickly left.

“Hey!”

There was no way Liguang would turn around at my voice.

As I watched his back disappear into the white morning sun, I suddenly wondered if Liguang remembered the color of Kiba’s eyes.

Even if he did, he’d never tell me.

But if he did remember—

After thinking that far, the rest of the words vanished from my mind.

If he remembered, then what? What would I want to do?

For some reason, I couldn’t figure out what would come next.

“That’s a wrap, Renga-san!”

I was completely exhausted when they said that and handed me the bouquet, but I still managed to pull off a celebrity smile.

As I got into the car and drove back to the dorm with my manager, I was so tired that I couldn’t even speak.

But unlike me, my manager was in a great mood.

“Great job today, Renga-san! The president was obsessed with authenticity and forbade CGI, so he wouldn’t let you go home until you caught a big one…”

That’s right. The commercial was an offer from a HAMA sea fishing company.

I accepted the job for the sake of HAMA, but…

“I didn’t think I’d be fishing for 8 straight hours since this morning…”

They said catching a small fish wouldn’t have an impact, so the shoot was all about catching a big one and getting a huge reaction.

“But at the end, you hooked a shark and made an amazing splash! The shot was perfect!”

The cameraman also smiled at this.

The president was also very satisfied after the commercial finished recording.

It’s just that both my arms are dead.

My fight with the shark lasted about three hours.

It was rough…

Of course, the shark was released after filming.

When I finally arrived at the dorm and said goodbye to my manager, I looked at the clock to see it was still early afternoon.

—That was faster than I expected.

The commercial was scheduled to take up two days just in case, so now I get tomorrow off.

When I remembered that, I suddenly felt better.

Wondering if anyone was home, I went to the living room and said, “I’m home.” Nanaki and Kisuke’s eyes widened and they replied, “Huh? Nishizono-san?”

“Did you two just get home from school? I just got back too.”

The two of them were still in their uniforms.

Normally when I talked to them, they’d respond in a friendly way with “What did you do today?” or, “Nishizono-san…there’s something I want to make, with origami.”

But today they were silent, and it felt like they were looking at something strange.

“...? What’s wrong?”

When I ask that, Nanaki starts to get flustered for some reason.

“Well, I mean. You just came from the entrance, right?”

“...Yeah?”

“Didn’t you just go upstairs though?”

“Huh?”

It made no sense to me, but Nanaki said it just happened ten minutes ago.

Kisuke also nodded like a bobble-head in agreement.

“Before you went upstairs, I asked you…about how to fold, an anemone… And you, showed me,” he said before showing me a white anemone origami.

I often teach Kisuke how to fold origami because it makes his sister happy.

The origami anemone he showed me was folded the same way I knew how.

“I was also next to him listening about how to make it. Wait–did you go outside while we weren’t looking?”

“We should have been able to see the entrance from this angle the whole time though…” Nanaki muttered to himself.

I was confused.

I had just seen the two of them for the first time today, and I hadn’t taught Kisuke how to fold anemones.

But it felt like something was stuck in my throat, and I couldn’t get those words out.

“Ahh, yeah, that’s right. I stepped out for a moment,” I lied.

And then I went upstairs to escape.

‘Hurry, you have to hurry,’ a voice in my head urged me.

There was no proof, but I still knew.

He came.

Because I wanted to see him.

He came.

There was no one in my room.

Before I knew it, I was drenched in sweat, and my fingertips were frozen from nerves.

The room was completely silent, just as I had left it this morning.

But there was one thing that was different.

There was a slip of paper left on top of the round table in the middle.

I approached it slowly and picked it up.

My fingers were shaking, and my vision was wavering, so I couldn’t read it right away.

“We can’t meet yet. Wait just a little longer, Ren.”

—Wait just a little longer, Ren.

I read that part over and over again.

Suddenly, all the strength left my body, and I collapsed onto the ground.

…It was Kiba.

I knew it. I wasn’t the one who talked to Nanaki and Kisuke and taught them how to fold origami; it was Kiba pretending to be me.

Suddenly, my heart felt warm.

The fact that Kiba came to see me.

The fact that if I wait just a little longer, I’ll be able to see him.

All of it made me happy.

How much is a little longer?

How long do I have to wait before I can see you?

It’s not like we’d never meet again, but if I can see you one more time, I'll do my best no matter what…

But for some reason, that feeling didn’t last very long.

It’s true I’m happy that Kiba came.

I’m also happy that I’ll be able to see him if I wait just a little longer.

But I wondered why he didn’t just tell me directly if he was going to come to the dorm.

And above all else, Nanaki and Kisuke never doubted for a second that Kiba was me.

—Are we still that alike?

That’s what I thought.

It’d been like that from the start.

The reason Kiba was interested in me in the first place, and my only worth, was that I looked the same as him.

I was proud of that.

No matter what else people made fun of me for, the fact that I look just like Kiba was supposed to be an amazing thing…

But I wonder why.

I thought if we wanted to, we could switch places right now, and no one would be able to tell the difference.

Amidst my happiness, I felt a sickening dread, like a drop of black ink that’d been spilled, staining it and spreading little by little.

Grandmother’s garden.

The short conversations between my dad and I on our days off.

The time spent with my butler taking care of the roses.

My busy manager who’s always laughing and getting mad.

My fellow celebrities who take the time to chat with me at work.

The many staff members who help with my photoshoots.

The words of thanks from the people I’ve shown hospitality to as ward mayor to, and the words of encouragement from the fans who have always supported me.

The relationships I’ve gained as I’ve spent time in this dorm.

…Yukikaze is always so kind. Kafka makes me feel calm when I’m with him.

Ten is my precious friend.

The chief is always so full of energy, and Yachiyo is funny.

Shumai is, of course, the cutest in the whole world.

Liguang is… “Renga’s” best friend, but even though he doesn’t get along with me…

I want to be acknowledged a little more…

And… And also.

—...…Renga-san, let’s live more greedily.

Suddenly, the words Ten said some time ago came to mind.

—Isn’t it fine to want it all? To keep wanting everything, without handing it over to anyone else?

What I want…

What do I want?

I wonder if Ten knows what I should want.

I’m happy I’ll be able to see Kiba.

What if the black stain spreading across that happiness is “greed”?

Is it a good thing to have?

Suddenly I felt like there was a tremendous darkness deep inside my heart.

Beyond it, Liguang frowned and said, “Fool.”

Yukikaze, Kafka, the chief, and Yachiyo were all smiling and waving me over.

Ten shrugged and said, “Just say you want it already.”

And Kiba… Kiba wasn’t there.

Where are you? Renga. Where did you go?

At the front of the darkness, 11-year-old me cried as he searched.

I don’t need anything.

I don’t need anything else as long as I have you, Renga, so don’t leave me alone.

Like the poor fox that was left all alone.

For whose sake am I alive?

It’s for “Renga’s,” right?

That’s just how it is, right?

The fox that was left behind let out a scream-like noise.

I stared at the slip of paper in my hand, wondering if that fox was me, and if I’d done something wrong.

If I wait just a little longer and see Kiba, I wonder what I’ll really want to do?

The answer should have been obvious, but for some reason I no longer knew.

That can’t happen.

It’s strange for me to have doubts.

…You think so too. Right, Renga?