Track 5 - A Hunch

“Oh Renga-kun, you went out? No wonder I didn’t see you around at lunch.”

When I got back to the company dorm――also known as HAMA House, the caring chief was the first to greet me.

When they asked where I’d been, I panicked and awkwardly made something up, “Um, on patrol...”

It seemed like they thought it was weird I was gone first thing in the morning, even though it was my day off.

“You mean a walk? Manーyou should have invited me, Renga-san. I’ve been bored out of my mind.” Ten said as peeked his head in from the living room.

Hehe, having a friend make a selfish request like that is kind of nice...

I decided to invite Ten for a walk the next time we have time off.

Ten kept asking me, “Where did you go though? Seems sus,” but I somehow managed to dodge the question by saying, “Just around the area.”

I want to tell my friend Ten everything, but for now I can’t. The piece of brick under the air conditioner is a secret between me and Kiba.

“Oh yeah, I left a delivery from your agency in your room. Your manager called the dorm and said it was fan letters.”

“O-Oh, thanks for that...”

Recently, I’ve been gaining fans and getting more work as a celebrity.

The number of job offers I’ve been getting has doubled, and every project proposal I look at says, “We want to bring out the appeal of ‘Boyfail Renga’.”

Personally, I don’t think I’ve changed all that much from before. I’ve just become a bit more transparent.

But maybe it’s because the viewers’ opinions have changed...there are a lot of people saying, “He’s so cute when he tries to act like a celebrity,” and “He’s still trying his best, so I’ll support him.”

The hashtag “#BFRC”¹, an abbreviation for “Boyfail Renga is a Cutie”, has been trending...and my manager’s been happy about it.

...Is this something to be happy about? I have mixed feelings personally.

W-well anyway, getting more work is a good thing!

I felt like if I kept talking to Ten, I’d end up spilling everything to him, so I hurried back to my room.

On the way there, I realized I hadn’t told the chief, “Thanks for receiving my package!” so I told myself I’d say it later that night.

When I entered my dorm room, I noticed my roommate, Kafka, wasn’t there and I was alone.

Feeling a bit relieved, I checked the top of the table and sure enough, three cardboard boxes from my agency were waiting for me.

When I opened the boxes, I found them stuffed with fan letters, cassette tapes, and gifts from my fans. Knowing they took time out of their day to make these gifts made me really happy.

Even though email is so much faster and convenient, my fans still find so many creative ways to support me.

Apparently voice tapes are popular these days with the recent Heisei boom, so I’ve received a lot more of them recently.

I sat down and started going through the letters.

[I saw you on TV and totally fell in love! I watch all of your shows!]

[In your latest magazine shoot, you were so cute, but also so cool as well! I’ve come to love you even more...! I’ll keep supporting you from here on out!]

[Renre~♪ I went on a trip to HAMA the other day! I got fan service directly from Renre and I’m dying of happiness~ (><) Please treat me well again~]

[I’m in my seventies and live in northern Japan. Last month I went on a trip to HAMA Ward 3, which you are charge of. I was treated very well and had a very satisfying experience. During the tour, you personally guided me, and when you saw I was having trouble with my footing, took my hand and supported me. I was truly moved by your kindness. When I returned home, I immediately looked up information about your work. It’s a bit embarrassing to say, but I’ve started to become a fan of you, Nishizono-san.]

“Wow...I’m so grateful...”

The letters were full of such happy thoughts, I couldn’t help but mumble to myself.

My heart felt warm, and I was moved by everyone’s words.

It’s amazing that there are people watching and supporting me.

――That’s a relief, maybe Kiba will be happy with this when it’s time to switch back.

The thought made me feel a bit relieved.

But then I wondered why Kiba hadn’t contacted me, and my heart started to sink again.

After reading all of the letters, I carefully organized and put them back into the boxes neatly, before moving them to my part of the room.

The table is a shared space, so I have to keep it nice and clean.

Just as I was making sure there wasn’t even a speck of dust left on the table, my phone beeped.

I glanced at it and saw it was an email from my manager confirming my schedule for tomorrow.

――[The show tomorrow will mainly focus on Renga-san’s ‘Boyfail Charm,’ so make sure you turn up your BFRC for the audience!]

I couldn’t tell if the words at the end of the email were supposed to be encouraging or something else entirely.

“...I don’t really get why being a boyfail is appealing, but I’ll do my best as usual...”

While I was typing out my reply, a sweet, refreshing scent suddenly tickled the tip of my nose.

It smelled like the petals of a rose that had just begun to bloom.

Feeling as if someone was tugging on my sleeve, I turned around to see a single yellow rose placed next to a small piece of paper on the table I had just cleaned.

“...Huh? Was this always here?”

I thought I had put all the gifts I got away in their boxes…

Picking up the rose and the piece of paper, I froze in shock.

On instinct, I checked the room, the door, and the windows, but no one was there.

Not even a trace.

But then, how…?

The slip of paper read:

―― [I’m always watching. Ren, just be yourself.]

“Kiba...?”

He didn’t respond when I called for him, but I was positive it was him. He even called me Ren.

And above all else, at the bottom of the slip of paper, was a tiny mark drawn that only the two of us would recognize.

Just like when we were little, the mark Kiba drew was a perfectly round circle.

――Kiba, you came? You came to deliver this to me?

I didn’t know how he left it here, or why he wouldn’t see me even though he came all this way, but there was no doubt, this rose and piece of paper were from Kiba.

...I’m always watching. Ren, just be yourself.

Kiba is really watching me.

And he accepts me for who I am?

As I digested these words, a sour feeling stings at the back of my nose, and tears slowly begin to overflow.

―― I’m so glad. I wasn’t wrong.

Even if I keep going like this, I’ll be okay.

The small bit of resentment I had deep inside my heart had disappeared.

As long as Kiba was watching and accepted me, it didn’t matter if I stayed a failure.

It was okay for me to live honestly, the way I want to.

And still be useful to Kiba.

“There were a lot of roadblocks, and a lot of things didn’t work out...but now things are better.”

Hoping that maybe he’s still nearby, listening, I talk to the piece of paper like an idiot.

“Everyone in the morning crew, the chief, and the people around me all helped me...Oh yeah, even Liguang.”

Even though your friend Liguang hates me, he’s been giving me advice recently. And I also made a friend besides you for the first time.

I want to tell Kiba about everything, how Yukikaze is always reliable, how Kafka is a genius, how the chief taught me how to study, and how Grandma, Father, and the butler are doing.

“Things are looking up for Ward 3. I want to introduce you to the guys from HAMA Tours too. I know you’ll like them.”

How do I tell you that there’s a place for you to return?

Wiping the tears from my eyes, I whispered,

“We’ll...meet again, right? Renga?”

The next time we meet...let’s go to the observation deck again.

Let’s eat light blue soft-serve ice cream and laugh while we show each other our blue tongues.

I want to talk to you and hear about what you’ve been doing, what you’ve been thinking, and how you’ve been living.

Whether you’re happy now, and if you’ve been happy up until now...I want to know.

“I’m not afraid of the transparent gondola anymore...Well, I guess I am still a little scared, but I can ride it now...You promised we’d ride the Ferris wheel together, right?”

I’ve been waiting for the day we can fulfill that promise.

Even if it’s just one day sooner, I hope I can see my sun again.――

Like how Kiba had once done before with the medal I gave him...I made a wish, buried my nose in the small scrap of paper, and closed my eyes.

And then I prayed.

...Please, God, may the real “Renga” be happy today, tomorrow, and the day after.

May the sea and sky seen from the tower come together as one at the distant horizon.

May “Renga” and I be able to laugh together again someday...